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Talk to current BF and have an honest conversation about what you want. Wanting marriage and when the other partner doesn't is a deal breaker. Either he wants the same things or he doesn't. You are already 36, which is not old, but getting close to the point where if you are going to have naturally, it needs to happen. You've been with this guy for 7 years, and you are both old enough and close enough to know if you want to get married or cut bait. You've had more than enough time. I think you should forget about new guy right now. He seems more attractive than he really is for several reasons: 1. You are unhappy in your current relationship. Grass is greener. You are fantasizing about him. 2. You don't know him well, so you are looking at him through colored glasses. You don't know all the little things about him that annoy you yet so you fill them in with your imagination as perfect. About a year after my divorce I dated a guy who I had known casually and had a crush on 10 years before when we were in HS. In my mind I thought he was GREAT, then I met him and he was not what I had built him up to be. He was an okay person but we were wrong for each other, and mutually decided not to pursue things after a few dates. 3. You have no idea if you are REALLY compatible until you spend a reasonable amount of time in a relationship with someone. I had a BF once who I felt very compatible with at first. We wanted all the same things in life and had the same interests. But over time it became apparent that key things did NOT line up . how we solved conflicts, when we said "family is important to me" it meant different things to each of us I could go on, but it was just a bad fit and it wasn't apparent until we had dated for some time. I am not saying you should stay with your current BF if it is wrong for you, but just don't let a fantasy about this new guy affect your decision. Ideally even if you do break up with BF you should take a break from dating for a little while and get yourself back together. 7 years is a time and it's unhealthy to jump from relationship to relationship. 
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"insults" and start LISTENING to the VERY GOOD advice you are getting here: 1.) Stop being such a downer and pitying yourself all the time. NOT attractive. 2.) Get a positive, respectful attitude that isn't filled with generalizations about women and about men without jobs. VERY attractive. 3.) Stop blaming your inability to find a good woman on women in general. HIGHLY unattractive. YOU are the common denominator, not all those women. YOU need to be fixed. 4.) Quit jumping on everyone on just a speck of what they said, because your feelings are hurt. That makes you look argumentative and defensive. NOT attractive. 5.) Make an active effort to find a job, (if you aren't already) and do what you can to survive, instead of sitting there like Eeyore saying "Poor me ." initiative and ambition is ever so sexy in a. Bellyaching and complaining is just plain ugly. Comprendez? 
yeah, that's a good point. we were applying to schools at the women want nsa same time but he had an offer first that limited where he was looking, and that offer came from a place that i wasn't considering, and i didn't apply to it too afterwards might be a sign. i definitely went for a certain school, certain program because i told myself that now is the time to work on a career, too, but maybe i was just telling myself that? one week on, one week off would be amazing but is beyond our financial/time limits! and what you said about managing his despair really rang a when i write all this it sounds to me like i'm trying to self-justify my actions. that might be true. cliched as it sounds i also don't know if i'm ready to it off because when we are together things are great. it's just that the together::apart ratio is so skewed that i don't know if the emotional discrepancy of our distance for those 3-5 yrs makes the temporally-limited of being together worth it. i don't know if it'd be easier if he were more independent too, or if we had known from the very start that our relationship would be distance for this if sphynx comes on, i'd to hear her take on it! 
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